Sunday, May 30, 2010

Do Indian Women Mastubate



(No mom, I'm not pregnant.)

What a nice surprise! The Chronicles of an unfit mother won both the price the public and the jury prize in the category of Web-humor WEBTV Festival of La Rochelle. Thank you all for your encouragement, and congratulations to other winners - many Quebecers!

How To Take Superpump And Sizeon

Monday 1 May two thousand and ten twenty

New York, May 2010. On one side there are the Chinese and blacks pulling carts filled with steel cans diced dawn. On the other there are freegans , young employees often, and not necessarily in need, who refuse to remain part of the consumer society which throws every day in the garbage 50% of its production. The first will toil to collect enough aluminum and incorporate a gang that recycles metals found in waste of large U.S. cities to earn a few dollars. The latter are activated at dusk and operate in groups to collect what restaurants and supermarkets throw bread, vegetables, cakes ... whose use-by date stops the same day and yet are still edible. This radical political movement denounces the American global consumer great mess that we are ... an example to follow. Tomorrow in crisis! (Click the blue link above to see a video of freegans)
Rattlesnake wintering

Friday, May 28, 2010

Read Soule Eater Love And Power

Games villains

Baby grows.

She invents games. Games, I swear, really cool. There's no other words. Of course, there are also some synonyms in the dictionary as "funny", "Entertaining," "spiritual" and "Millionaire", but for the occasion, "really cool" gives right on target.

Baby - Mom, Dad, we're going to play princesses.

Mother and Father unworthy - Ah. Yeah. OK.

Baby look at us, tests our physical and mental condition to see if we correspond profile "princess" and she resumed: "Um, no. We will rather play stupid."

Ah. Yeah. OK!

Baby - We must speak and treat other idiots idiots.

Mother unworthy - Great idea, idiot.

Baby - No! Not me! You two.

Father unworthy, good sport, is launched. "Hey, idiot, you have not yet paid for the daycare of Elder Daughter. We had a different opinion."

Mother unworthy - and why it would be for me to take care of it, minus? And then when I went to fetch her, my head was also seen that you had YET Forgot to buy olives for dinner, andouille.

unworthy Father - We were not obliged to put the olives in the recipe, moron!

Mother unworthy - Sure, it was just a chicken with olives, remained!

Father unworthy - Ass asshole!

Mother unworthy - Stupid monkey!

Baby - Well, OK, we stop playing.

unworthy Mother - Oh, come on!

Father unworthy - Damage.

Gallbladder Polyps 4mm

Interview on the challenge head shaved

An interview about the Shaved Head Challenge in the vivacious duo with Tanya Laliberte that she will also peel the coconut June 10! You hear the wind noise as if you were there, and you even see me at the beginning, take the pose of supermodel who plays Din 'ch'veux (the camerawoman will confirm that I am polite, I do everything we wonder). Thank you to the team side blog!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Dimensions Scott Kay Artiste Matterhorn

Wednesday 5 May two thousand and ten twenty

"Hey, Mom ... it's bars, the ED was pointing a pistol ball!" My teenage son is lying on her bed in jeans and T-Shirt "Fuck Your Mother" home made. He died of laughter, the ad appears on his Facebook. These are kids who did this ... I dig through my computer and I get the text that Goldilocks had sent me a few months ago: "In 1929 the economic crisis rages! Two Robin Wood decided to go get the money where it is: Bonny & Clyde. Many investors have seen their fortunes disappear with the collapse of banks. So one of the reasons that lead people to consider them more like "Robin Hood" that as criminals. At that time those who commit bank robberies have a certain fascination for people. The second reason that people do not perceive as dangerous is the love that unites them ... Where are our Bonnie and Clyde our 2010 version? "
Bonnie & Clyde are back. They are much younger and much hungriest: they bite packages BN packs of beer and loose change. Sadly, the booty is so thin. At home, I have some brats, a pistol and a bag of ball bearings ... and the fridge full time. Tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering & Goldilocks

Monday, May 24, 2010

Prom House Rentals In The Hamptons

Tuesday 5 May two thousand and ten

"The food is of love. "chicken, fish ... all that is love. I am a little troubled at the slogan painted on a car traveling junk food. Yet I understand the words, my English does is not too bad. But when I translate these three words, I do not understand the meaning. Do not we say "live on love and fresh water" so far? Obviously everything has changed: if we lack Love can fall back on food, fill the gap by chowing down on tons of food ... joyful program! I want to take off the letters and to read "Love is food." Later in the day, I continue on a MacDonalds on Sixth Avenue: love tastes disgusting. It quickly consumed, ill-digested, cheap prepaid. I stay on my hunger and yet I feel sick, but it will be quickly forgotten. Tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering

Racoon Proof Trash Cans

ticket when I did not ask for money!

Crazy, huh? Yes, I still participates in the Shaved Head Challenge and yes, you can always bet on underwear Jean-Louis XXX or get autographed bookmark if I make a donation, in addition to being entitled to my eternal gratitude. But I'm not here today to ask you some money. Crazy, huh? "There's a pogne !" You tell yourself in good Quebecois shown. French girlfriends are wondering, they, "what's the scam c'te time, name of a caribou?"

You are strong girls. (And you too, guys, even if it was my father who is the strongest.)

I ask you to vote! Chronicles of an unfit mother are nominated for the WebTV Festival of La Rochelle, in the category Web humor - which I am delighted, as it is supposed to be very funny. To vote, go here you and you click with enthusiasm undisguised on the number "5".

And the most wonderful thing in asking you to vote for the Mother of webisodes unworthy, I do not require you to swear loyalty for eternity and beyond. I encourage you instead to go flutter according to your desires and your solidarity, and to issue a memo to all the wonderful artists who are nominated in all categories. I also invite you in particular to take a turn in the Web tab fiction , Quebec where several works are in the running.

***

Regarding of donations is , we made $ 4000! It's exhilarating, my head spins, I am again and again and again, double or nothing, dead or alive. So tomorrow, I will ask you for money. ;-)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

What Can Cause Phlegm On A Newborn Baby

There's all sorts of ways to raise funds

Dear Jean-Louis XXX

I take those few moments between my appetizer and cooking Kraft Dinner family size to tell you that I am very disappointed with our relationship.

The afternoon was beautiful, and yet I spent curled up by the phone waiting for your call, hope your voice spiced Belgian who would say, "Mother unworthy, I did not forgotten, neither you nor your pool. I arrive, FIEU Djousse name. "I waited for you, without asking anything other than your presence, hoping for you that your mood, your jersey one-piece molding and, incidentally, your old Ikea furniture out of fashion that fits so well with my patio decrepit.

We'd talked about the good old days, oh, as we have laughed, Jean-Louis! Or maybe not, I do not know, I I have the impression of not knowing anything about you, my sweet ex-trippeul JL. From the moment you knew that the pool was not yet ready and that there were perhaps two to three deaths in blackbirds , you have no particular news. You do not still think that I would have asked to clean my pool? And what, again? I'd have forced him to remove the mint that has invaded the garden? In 1348 my uproot dandelions? To do laundry? Well, know that I hate it when you read my mind. She is a woman who cheated is for you, a woman cheated and thirsty for revenge.

Hereby, I announce that I will proceed soon to a raffle, with the grand prize will consist of your own underwear, underwear those that I talked so much on this blog and have been dreaming for my readers thousand and one nights. Any who will donate at least $ 20 for my Shaved Head Challenge will win a chance to win those underwear (see photo romantic attached). I'll spare you, Jean-Louis, by not disclosing how I came into possession of magic pants, but I swear to my readers that it was indeed a pair of panties Jean-Louis XXX - never worn, rest assured (and unworthy Father swears in turn have not succumbed to the temptation to don *).

So here, Jean-Louis. Our break is actually consumed. As for you, ladies, I'm asking for donations . Email me at caroline.all @ gmail.com to indicate your participation. As you can see, this artefact, though light as a feather and transparent like a sweet fantasy of love, is worth its weight in gold. And that is MORE of something bookmarks. I know, I exaggerate.


Adieu, Jean-Louis.

Farewell.

Ciao.

Goodbye.

(And if you're free next Wednesday evening, we invite you to dinner, eh. Brings you your good mood, and I promise you that the pool will be cleaned.)

Love & underwear,

Mother unworthy



* If you want used underwear, there are websites designed for that, perverse band.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

What Color Goes With Burgundy Carpet

Head Injuries

MI - You know, Baby, when I'm going to shave the hair , they will grow back white!

Baby - Invalid? Like a granny?

MI - Yes!

Baby - Is it that I can call you Grandma?

MI - Uh, well, it is rather your children call me Grandma ... Baby

- BUT I DO NOT WANT ME BABY PAAAAAS!

MI - I understand, darling. But then, what are the children of your big sister call me Grandma.

Baby - But I call Thee VEUUUUUX GRANNY!

MI - Well, okay, Lord. you can call me Grandma.

Baby, traumatized, whining - BUT I WANT YOU STAY STILL MY MÈÈÈÈÈRE!

MI - But ... well, okay, okay! You can call me Mom AND Mamie. It suits you, right?

Baby - Yes.

MI - Here.

Baby - And you can call me Ariel, Dorothy, and I'll be your baby dog.

MI - ( Sigh.)

***

MI, unworthy to Papi - Well, I'm going to shave the head on June 10 You must make me a gift.

Papi unworthy - You're not already shaved?

MI - Ben here! What about my head right now? Spaghetti?

Papi unworthy - I thought it was a wig. I thought you had already shaved and you did not assume.

MI, traumatized, whining - My hair looks like a perruuuuuque!

***

MI at Girlfriend - Well, I'm going to shave the head on June 10 You must make me a gift.

Pal - Huh? I thought he should be given AFTER shave your head, to be sure that you will not change his mind en route.

MI, sotto voce - I reach it ever, fucking goal.

***

Barber MI - Yes ... yes ... I understand ... We took the opportunity ... We did that once ... And then you have a beautiful skull ... It's going very well go and become ... ( look that goes in the top right of the typical rapper ) And then, very short hair, it'll be good for you, give it personality ... It was after, in between, this will be hard ... You'll spend the winter a little sad ... But with a little more makeup, you should be fine ... And then it will grow back, eh? ... ( smile of pity )



*** Anyway, the girls (and everyone else) to keep you informed of my challenge Shaved Head in six words: sometimes, people will not understand.

But never mind, we have fun anyway! Indeed, back in a few days, there will be a draw that should tickle your nostalgic memories of the fiber as it involves two people who are dear to you: 1. Jean-Louis XXX, and 2. the panties of Jean-Louis XXX.

Poile yours, Mother

unworthy

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

O. G. Mudbone Biography

Thanks!

Thank you all for your donations! You can continue! ;-) A word

to say to all those who sent me their address to receive the bookmark that I note everything well, even if I do not respond to messages. I will make the bookmarks after June 10, when the fundraising period is over, according to the quantity needed, and I'll post them with love and gratitude. :-)

For those who do not know what I mean:

If you donate $ 5 * or more on my profile Leucan , I mailed this beautiful bookmark designed by none other the wonderful Elise Gravel !


Moreover, the reverse of the bookmark will be autographed by the entire family unworthy (including Jean-Louis XXX - I do not ask him, but he'll say yes)!

Simply make a donation and send me your mailing address caroline.all @ gmail.com. Generous for the first time, do not worry, this sensational offer also applies to those who have already donated.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Lost My Hampton Bay Remote

deux Tuesday, May 11 thousand ten

T'es which side you? That of the oppressed? Oppressors? Victims? Executioners? Martyrs? Torturers? Whose side are you in? ... Unemployed? Workers? Do we really have to choose sides? Do we really need to be a blue elephant thrown into the street, the garbage, congestion? Because in the end it becomes bulky, no? No. I will not choose to camp, I'll stay Me: with a practice of sending checks in the five years to come (future?) and an airline ticket from Paris to New York for a start in a few days ... I'm living in the two camps, and that's it. I am neither oppressor nor oppressed, neither victim nor executioner, I'm alive and that's not bad (even if it hurts). Tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering

Us Visa Restamping H1b

Chronicle disheveled

Mother unworthy - Look at your mother, honey. June 10, I'm going to shave his head for children with cancer!

Elder Daughter - Hum. Yes. It's ... is nice. But you know, I do not think that having his head shaved, either really will suit the style that best ...

unworthy Mother - But ... it does not matter, that ... I do it for a good cause ...

Elder Daughter - You'll still spend the summer with a haircut a little ... ugly. It might have been better if you do it in winter, you know, to be able to put a hat?

unworthy Mother - ...

Elder Daughter - but good. It's really a nice gesture, I guess.

***

Mother unworthy - Look at your wife, dear! On 10 June, I'm going to shave his head for children with cancer!

Father unworthy - Awesome.

Mother unworthy - For a good cause ... and it pushes ... and I'll wear hats ...

Father unworthy - You're not telling me permission now? ( Translation: "Assume." )

unworthy Mother - No, no ... ( Translation: "Mautadine, I'll do first." )

***

Mother unworthy - Look at your mother, baby. On 10 June I'm going to shave his head for children with cancer!

Baby - On 10 June, it's my birthday?

Mother unworthy - No.

Baby - Ah. ( Translation: "Okay." )

Mother unworthy - but it's going to be special anyway! Mom has more hair on your head!

Baby ( with an initial enthusiasm ) - I'll be there when you're going to shave them?

Mother unworthy - Yes!

Baby ( frankly exalted ) - Is it going to be me who'll shave?

Me - No.

Baby - Ah.

***

Father unworthy - My mom will send us a check for $ 150 Begique. Hundred dollars for Leucan and fifty dollars for the girls bought something.

Elder Daughter and Baby - Yay!

Mother unworthy - You tell your mother that the girls want to make a donation to Leucan.

Elder Daughter and Baby - Aaah ...

*** Good

otherwise and girls. al. , I dug my brains to make hair loss even more interesting for you. I offer a simple but extraordinary to you (be careful with capital letters):

If you make a donation of $ 5 * or more on my profile Leucan , I mailed this BEAUTIFUL BOOKMARK designed by none other than the wonderful ELISE GRAVEL !


Moreover, the reverse of the bookmark will be autographed by the whole family UNFIT (including Jean-Louis XXX - I do not ask him, but he will say YES!)

Simply make a donation and send me your mailing address caroline.all @ gmail.com. Generous for the first time, do not worry, this offer SENSATIONAL also applies to those who have already donated.

PS (as well do it) And if I reach $ 5 000 this week, I write a column UNPUBLISHED on an episode of my family life I had until then refused to share with you.

(* The minimum is that the donation still exceeds the cost of a little stamp and envelope. ;-))

***

Here! It's all for now. I'll keep you posted for other milestones of my challenge Leucan (eg, went to $ 7000, shoot me singing "Mama the finest in the world" in a Karaoke and become the laughing stock of YouTube). Good week!

Sunday, May 9, 2010

How To Find Crusing Spots

Sunday, 9 May two thousand and ten

Centre Leclerc, this weekend, my little basket under her arm, I spot the body the least crowded. Style exercise that also involves checking that there is a display of newspapers TV to wait an interminable time (or inter shabby) tail. Cool: the 12, plus there are my "friend" to the fund, which quickdraw items faster than his shadow and that the scans with the rapidity of lightning. I jump right on it, followed by two other people packed trolleys. One person in front of me, it's great! I twitch ... but not for long. The client who preceded me out of a discreet black dolly cucumbers. Four, four, four more ... and again four cucumbers ... And it never ends ... the treadmill is completely covered with cucumbers, I can not even count them. The cashier either ... it shows a bewildered look, looking at the bed of cucumbers. "We'll count them." she says. First test: "53". "Oh no not possible, it is a promo of four cucumbers, the client responds, and 53 is not a multiple of four. Yes that's for sure, so we recount. I reach for my iPhone to take a picture behind me and the client begins to giggle and then pulls out his laptop too: "Well yes it's true ... It's crazy anyway it does what all these cucumbers?" New chuckle. Cons by the cashier did not laugh, it was still planted in its calculation. A little nervous, she asked her client that no one dares ask: "And you're going to do what all these cucumbers ma'am?". Tends all ears. "Bah, I want to eat them of course! In promo, it's worth four cucumbers per euro. I look the teller and I can read in his eyes a moment of solitude (see photo). Away in a loudspeaker, we hear "Super promo on cucumbers. Four per euro. I feel it will fail, that is, right now, she needs a very big hug. But actually it's not really my girlfriend, I do not know enough to do this kind of stuff with it. Then I sketch a vague smile and I just hope she will like my items well. There is no double I verified. Tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mac Full Coverage Foundation

Thursday, 6 May two thousand and ten

The scene is very simple: a Mercedes Benz gray metal, a one way street close enough, a bus filled with exhausted workers hurry to go home and me at the window with a cigarette making scrolls and enjoyment of life. It is eight o'clock. The Mercedes pulls up in double file (as I am only a poor girl, I do not specify the model, but I'm pretty proud to have already recognized the brand), two types come out (for those who read post from Thursday, 8 April two thousand and ten, they are the same two idiots pissed on their Merco). They fly direct to coffee "lounge" on the corner, leaving the car in the middle of the road. The bus arrives and of course it can not happen. My cigarette is completely burnt so I threw it (like a real man ... with a flick of the end of major projects that the cigarette away, far away, so I trained and now I can do ...) and I close the window. But the double glazing can not stifle the horn accidentally on the bus. Twenty-thirty, the horn still roared ... then falls silent. I cast a glance at the window: the bus driver commits a third between the car and the sidewalk. The right mirror of the Mercedes was sprayed! Workers will finally return home ... phew! Twenty-one hours: the mirror is always in the middle of the road, it looks like a poor little dead bird. It's sad to cry. I look on the internet the price of a Mercedes Benz mirror: 279 euros plus installation! It will be expensive to drink ... Twenty-two hours, another cigarette, scrolls and other delights of life. Retro is still on the floor but there is one small change: both have returned and are now laying the plastic wrap on the left rear door. Someone blew up their glass. Increasingly expensive this drink at the bar "lounge" on the corner ... I have not the courage to look at the price of a window in "care-care-repair-ice-ice-replace" on the net. Tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Go Through Pregnancy Game Online

Wednesday, May 5 two miles dx

Crisis forces is the recession ... so we try to spend less and less. After having deprived of chocolate, taxis and other trifles to keep that which I call "God bless Florica," I finally decided to part with the gem: one that cleans my house from top to bottom in every corner, even those I did not suspect the existence ... And "God bless Florica" coming Usually on Wednesday we have today, the daughters of the house and I rubbed, scrubbed, drawn, washed, folded, put away, etc. ... I'm talking about girls because boys have vanished, one in the toilet (I know all day long ... it sounds) and one in her room (to rank five and three T-shirt jeans). Apart from the substantial savings to clean oneself, the eldest has discovered that we had a vacuum cleaner and how he got started and the girl, a vocation for cleaning windows and mirrors (and mainly those last because we can look into working and that's pretty awesome!). Usually it fills me enough to clean my house (also in other course) but this afternoon was a good day's crisis. Of course if it is less nickel Florica had done itself but I still had the joy of seeing Margot vacuum between his bed and wall, and the little Hortense bawl me out because it ' the bazaar is so in my office that she did not see how she can clean, "Mom you got five minutes to tidy up!" Tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Cruiae Ship Sunbathing

Tuesday, 4 May two thousand and ten

I do not know his name or his nationality (Even if I wanted to say "Chinese", which is completely absurd ...) or age (between 30 and 50 years, the complexion smooth) but I know him well. For years he walks the trash in my neighborhood day and night, with a cart checkered green and black. He searched tirelessly each tray green, yellow, brown. At first his wife accompanied him. She followed him on a full stomach and empty eyes. Then probably found a stroller in a trash allowed the child. The woman I've never reviewed, the child yes. He grew up and he followed his father in his excavations hung cart. When I look at the scene that immediately reminds me of Cormac McCarthy's novel which follows the journey of a "man" and a "small" in a post-apocalyptic world and whose only wealth is contained in a supermarket trolley and a rucksack. To tell you the truth, I closed the book on page 80 so the atmosphere was depressing to see sealed. The "no future" in its purest form ... I'm going to make me retype Beigbeder want! A snoopy will do the same ... But if I close the book, "Chinese" is still there, trash trash, carcasses of chicken in mismatched socks everything is good to take. Recently I finally told myself that the crisis did not change much for him, that fucking crisis he lived for years. Actually no, the crisis is hard for him too: the garbage lose weight, the carcasses are scraped to the bone and mismatched socks back in fashion. In short, the "no future" in its purest ... McCarthy did not invent anything, its metaphysical history based on the myth of Sisyphus is mapped onto the real: the contemporary human condition. It's even worse than in the novel, no one can close the book ... you tomorrow in crisis!
Rattlesnake wintering

Height Of Collimation Example

Grandma, my hair, and you Leucan

You see the lady in pink in the photo? She is beautiful, right? This is my grandmother Teresa. She died of cancer in 1993.

I loved my grandmother. Unconditional love, it was her. When I was tired of living with Grandpa and Grandma unworthy, I said "I want to go to grandma!" I did my small suitcase and my mother (not very disturbed, to be honest) would take me back. I think if I close my eyes I can almost smell the back of his neck.

few years before she died, Grandma had breast cancer and it was based. We, his grandchildren, we thought that was over his illness, and could forget the great fear that Grandma died. But no. The cancer returned and he has ceded its place. Hey, I think I also remember the smell cancer ... Sweet and treacherous.

During the last weeks of his life, the family members took turns at his bedside to help him eat his meals. I recall the last time I spoke to him: it was my watch, so I had visited the hospital to dinner time. Upon arriving, I saw one of my uncles was already there. "Well, you came too?" In fact, it was I who was wrong day. I should go the next day but saw me arrive, my grandmother exclaimed "You came! The good Lord heard my prayers!" We chatted about everything and nothing, my studies of God (Sister unworthy and I, we really wanted her to tell us once the other hand, if God was a man or a woman that the was a good laugh). The next day, the day of my "real" guard tower, when I arrived at the hospital, my grandmother was unconscious. She died a few days later. It's my stupidity I was able to talk to him one last time.

I often think about my grandmother. I regret that it has not been unworthy father and my daughters. In fact, if I was an actress and I had to cry for a role, it's my grandmother I would think, because I miss her greatly.

Then yesterday morning I was on the subway. I saw the ad for the challenge of Leucan Shaved Head. I thought about my grandmother, and I thought "what it should be when it comes to our child?" And I decided, like that of participate in the challenge. June 10, Bzzzz! I spend to mow! I set myself a goal of $ 10 thousand in donations. It's much, but it would be so great to do it! We can even make online donations, it's too easy. (Note that I also commandeered the contents of the piggy bank Elder Daughter - more noble than a pizza ;-))

Many thanks to all who participate. I promise to post a video of my extreme makeover online ... question you have for your money!

Good day to you all, and health!

PS If people prefer to donate by check rather than via my profile on the site Leucan , send me a message caroline.all @ gmail.com so that I give you my address. Cheques should be made on behalf of Leucan, but I'm the one who collects and then sends them a form of fundraising. (Translation: so make an online donation ;-))

***

up.: Thanks to everyone who donated to my Profile Leucan today! I complete the first 10% of my goal by making myself a gift ... and I return to the topic in the coming days, you throw some challenges it will be impossible to resist.